The NHS is amazing and we all need to support it

NHS FTW (comprehension notes are at the end)

I just finished my physics degree!!

I have no idea how because I only (finally) received my AD(H)D diagnosis a few months after graduating (thank you selfish, impulsive Tories – /sarc)

Open University has accepted me onto their MSc Science, as I squeaked by with a 2:2 – their minimum direct entry requirements ๐Ÿ˜…

Duloxetine withdrawals are hell and I cannot describe the immense buoying of mood and mental flexibility after changing from antidepressants to AD(H)D medication.

My goal is to study how medical institutions work, and use this to educate people and change the medical establishment for the better. I want more empathetic, holistic, person-centred and evidence-based medicine. And I want it to be accessible to everyone and free at the point of use!

So basically Clement Attlee and [will add other dude when I find his name: Aneurin Bevan] are my role models / heroes.

The NHS history (1948-1959) – NHS England – NHS Choices


๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿฝโ€๐Ÿ”ฌ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿฝโ€๐Ÿ”ฌ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿฝโ€โš•๏ธ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿฝโ€โš•๏ธ๐Ÿš‘๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿจ๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿ’Š๐Ÿ’‰๐ŸŒก๐Ÿ”ฌ๐Ÿšฐโฑ๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ’พ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ’–โ˜ฎ๏ธ๐Ÿ’Ÿโš›๏ธโ˜ข๏ธโ˜ฃ๏ธ๐Ÿ’ฏ

Aneurin Beva and Clement Attlee are babes. Real MVPs. Leg(ends)!

For screen readers and non-fluent English speakers: 

FTW can mean any of “for the win”, “fuck the world”, or “for the world”. I have no idea which use is most common at the moment, so I generally use it as an emphatic assertion of the preceding statement.

AD(H)D is Attention Deficit Disorder and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder; 

2:2 or 2(ii) or “two, two” is a (Higher Education) university degree classification, which is below a 1* for “starred First”, 1 for “First Class”, 2:1 or 2(i) for “Upper Second Class”, and above a 3rd for “Third Class Honours”, and Pass which is also called an “Ordinary (non-honours) Class” degree.

‘Babes’ usually refers to conventionally attractive people, by means of sexual, romantic, platonic, or otherwise compelling traits. (Here, I’m using it humorously to imply that their achievements, in improving social responsibility and increased welfare and wellbeing, confer interpersonal reputation – to the point that they can be considered individually attractive.)

MVP is the acronym for Most Valuable Player, referring to gamers who contribute most impact to individual or recent matches in video games.

Legend / leg (“lej”) is colloquial for people who are impressive, noteworthy, imitate-able, and / or historically influential and beneficial.


I love people and don’t want them to suffer
(it’s a Medium article. If you’re unsure: the full link is at the end of this post, for clarity.
Yes, I know it’s not “Medium, therefore alwaysย trustworthy”, but then… nothing is.
I don’t want to buy in to the “Everything is untrustworthy so follow what your government says” bullshit.
All I can suggest to you is to be mindful of your sources. Really pay attention to their stated motivations, and consider what their likely motivations could be.)

I used to hate people. I was the curmudgeonliest misanthrope, stewing with misbegotten rage and seething with contempt for everyone and everything.

I didn’t understand music, art, effectiveย altruism (think of the phrase “I want to make a difference“. The difference – compared to inaction – is the effective part. Altruism is doing something for others to improve their wellbeing or reduce harm), empathy, consideration, future-oriented thinking, or any joy more complex than “I am watching anime”, “I am playing a [single-player] video game”, or “I am petting a cat.”

And it wasn’t because I was autistic. In my opinion? It’s because I was bullied for being autistic. I was alienated, dismissed, harassed, discriminated against, and victimised –ย repeatedly –ย in roughly that order.
BUT, while I might once have ranted about the injustice of it all, naming everyone in turn an idiot or an asshole,

Someone once told Young Me that I was always complaining about howย everyone was either ‘an idiot or an asshole’.
And, I mean, being super-reductive about it, you could make an argument for the ills of the world being due to either ignorance or malice.
(“Are you incompetent, or are you malicious?” is a hell of a loaded phrase XD)

I’m gonna consider (over-?) reductionism a cognitive bias, for now. But more about those tomorrow! Well, in a bit for me, but you folx will see it tomorrow.

It bothers me to see people upset. I feel called upon to do what I can to help fix it or at least remedy some of the effects. Perfection in a physical sense doesn’t exist, but ‘better’ is always an option, and that’s my dailyย goal.

Thanks for Reading and I hope you enjoyed it! โค

Mx Dozana, of Mx Dozana Art

Full link, as promised:


17Apr10 This is not going to be a happy post.

I don’t have the energy to write properly.
So just TW for anxiety, depression, suic*de, and all that “good” stuff.

And if anyone CAN find the article where the government dude encouraged poor and / or disabled people to kill themselves, please do send it to me. I want that shit on blast. This is not acceptable.

Links for context:

I’m around a 7 or 8 on this scale, too:

Been sliding down for years. And Tory gutting of both mental and physical health provisions to line their pockets in the name of “””austerity””” and “””We’re all in it together””” has not helped.

I just… I just.


Mx Dozana

17Mar23 Metaphors

Update: New trans-related post. Much shorter, still a lot of links, I ramble a bit and mention the NHS being defunded by Tories again… y’know, the usual!


Okay, so like I’m autistic ‘n shit. (And I can say I have AD(H)D now, omfg)
And I was never any good at metaphors, but
— through a very, VERY long process where I was forced to become at least passable with them —
I’m apparently now, at least at first glance, a fairly clear communicator.

Except I’m not

because I’m autistic, FFS. What I am is good at hiding that I’m autistic for allistic peoples’ sake.

Why yes, I am sensitive. Being bullied for many years by friends, family, foes, and randomers will do that to you. Surprisingly enough (!) /s </ sarcasm >

Y’know, activate stress responses
that become complex, negative associations?

And why do people pick on other-ness? Because it’s easy. People like simple categorization and limiting energy expenditure. Thinking and ruminating over things is hard and takes effort. I’m not an evolutionary biologist, but I’m going to assume short term thinking was highly prized over long-term philosophy.



The metaphor I had in mind

whenever I started writing this, was thus:

Everyone’s a chef (body, mind, physiology, biological machine, etc)
and everyone bakes cakes (mood, gender, mental health, experiences).

Continue reading “17Mar23 Metaphors”

17Mar10 Oh yeah! Autistic head canons

Links. So many links. Prepare for Link-mageddon. That last link refers to a shitty, shitty Doctor Who episode. A much better one is Night Terrors. Here’s the Wikipedia, and here’s a link to the BBC episode. (unfortunately not available as of 17Mar9)

Now, if you’re not in the know, the title means:

Ah, yes. Autisticideas of
how I think certain characters
interact in the confirmed source material,
that better reflect their traits and habits.

I adopt such ideas about these characters
and refer to such assumptions
when reconsidering the source material

Or better crafted:

Indeed, verily. Here are the characters who I think are autistic, allistic (non-autistic), and / or neuro-divergent or neuro-atypical.

As well as characters who I think are LGBTQ+, q*eer, or Gender and Sexuality Diverse or ‘Get Shit Done’ / ‘Get Stuff Done’, GSD for example.

Key Terms to know are: autistic,
headcanon (separated in the title for accessible reading).

Image search for the character I’m on about:

ANYway. Onto the main event: I THINK HANJI ZOE FROM ATTACK ON TITAN IS AUTISTIC AND I LOVE THEM. Reasons why? Let us… begin.

  1. The primary reason I think so is
    when they talked Eren’s ear off, after he asked about their experiments.
    He was warned not to ask by the others present,
    who all proceeded to leave the room in knowing preparation.
    The resulting all-nighter may have been informative for Eren and exhilarating for Hanji, but they were both exhausted and preoccupied as a plot point the next day.
  2. Hanji is repeatedly described as weird, lunatic, odd, insane, strange, and
    their fascination with Titans and Titan science is
    frequently labelled “bizarre”, “creepy”, or “unnatural”.
    When performing a delicate task relating to Titan capture,
    a fellow soldier remarks, “You have a crazy look in your eye.”
  3. When Levi describes them as Aberrant (a type of Titan), Hanji asks “Where?!” excitedly. This is an incredibly literal interpretation of Levi’s comment.
    He turns their head to answer, “Right here.” They don’t seem upset by having been called aberrant (as a human) or insulted.
    Similarly, the naming ceremony included specific details that caused some onlookers to puke from disgust. Hanji was happily rattling off a previously-prepared speech, which could be an example of self-set routine-following.
  4. Has increased (hyper?)empathy with the Titans.
    An in-show example would be the naming ceremonies as well as
    the event following point number 1.
  5. As well as flashbacks to experiments,
    where fellow Survey Corps soldiers call them “suicidal”,
    “At this rate, you really will die!”, and
    “You don’t have to cry [with the pained Titan], too!” — which support points 2 and 6.
  6. A follow-on from point 4:
    if we consider Titans to be roughly equivalent to (un)domesticated animals,
    then Hanji’s predilection for Titans’ company and
    learning as much about them as possible starts to make sense.
    Especially in contrast with
    how humans perceive Hanji:
    with neutral suspicion or worse.
  7. Has reduced risk perception around or possibly increased risk appetite (due to increased perceived reward of interacting) with Titans

The only trait I can’t find an analogue for is physical dis-coordination. But it doesn’t seem to be a requirement. Which is great because the only time we see Hanji in their 3D maneuver gear, they are notably graceful.

Why all the links about autism? Because shit like this happens:
“overcome her autism”,
“her face makeup-free”,
and general U.S.-centric bullshit about autism being a barrier,
rather than PEOPLE refusing to understand autistic people
.I tried looking for one of those link redirect sites, or at least a charity-donate-for-clicks type thing, but I couldn’t find one. Couldn’t find a cached version either, which was my preference.

I’m not linking to Autism$peaks. Those fuckers can get ad revenue elsewhere. Fuck ’em.

So a link to Ecosia, a search engine whose ad revenues plant trees, is the best Effective Altruism I could think of, to counteract the hate-spewing filth rag that is the Daily Fail (linked is The Daily Mash: satire). I wonder when our oh-so-empathetic government will get the message?

Point being, autistic people are awesome and some of the most loyal people you could ever want to befriend. Be nice to them or [trite, unsubstantiated threat of graphic violence].

Thanks for Reading! I hope you enjoyed it,

Mx Dozana, of Mx Dozana Art

17Mar09 Brief Summary

No art for a bit, then I made some. Yes, there is a video coming.

If you’re familiar with Mental Health, and Mental Illnesses in particular,
then you may / will understand. If not, then there are better places to learn more.

I thought a wrap-up was in order, following that gorgeous cacophony of written noise I pushed through for the last half-dozen or so posts!

Continue reading “17Mar09 Brief Summary”

17Mar04 Story and Character Arcs

I‘m not an expert, and I’m not particularly skilled. Just bear that in mind with this post! I’ll provide links as I go, per usual.

Mentioned before: I’m autistic. I don’t ‘get’ people, and a lot of the time, I don’t ‘get’ stories. I like stories when they’re well done, or interesting, but I have major difficulty and pains trying to make one of my own.

A lot of these videos I picked up from YouTube’s Creator Academy and Pre-Production: Before Pressing Record in particular. I highly recommend learning from and engaging with YT’s CA even if you don’t plan to make videos or media of any sort. There are so many transferable skills available from taking part in this free service. I’ve been to uni, I’ve tried FutureLearn and EdX. I hands-down prefer YT’s CA for its basic but effective framework.

If you’re looking for a thorough character sheet template, check out Rin Chupeco’s post here:

For example, do I plan to start shooting vlog-style videos, skits, shorts, and other in-person recordings? Hell no.
Do I want to make animations, rig things realistically (I only have a vague notion of what that means right now), and eventually produce engaging, perspective-shifting OVAs? Hell yes.

And story-boarding will be invaluable (Like Navi) in that endeavor.

This one is about ‘how to turn ideas into compelling stories of formats’. Besides the unfortunate and prolific use of ‘crazy’ to imply ‘unreasonable’ or ‘unusual’, Georgia Koch provides a whistle-stop tour of (one form of) a creative process. The video’s summary is: generate free-flow ideas, shortlist, incorporate unstructured impulses, keep in mind current struggles against a backdrop of core perspectives, uphold suspense, develop take-home message or call-to-action, “revise story ideas to keep your audience’s interest”, include connection characters and reasons to continue watching.

This one’s pretty funny and makes me feel like home. I also absolutely love his perspectives on transient life. And that characters should be their own people, otherwise they won’t feel real. Use characters to drive the plot. Also his cat is cute af. I took so many notes during this one the first time. It felt like I was in lectures again. *twitch twitch*

Script to Story, with regards to video production. Anna Akana talks through starting one, refining it, and using a checklist to ensure production materials can be efficiently gathered beforehand. Again, the use of ‘schizophrenic’, ‘psychopath’, and ‘I drink the script Kool-Aid’ were quite jarring and off-putting… as, like, someone with mental illnesses? And with mentally ill family members?

But besides that, the advice to only describe visuals or audio tracks that would be observable by someone in that situation is a good one. Unless you use voice-over thoughts — which is probably a Cinema Sin and I don’t really know or care why. Also include in your script what each person’s emotional stakes are, to each character. The organizational tips to color-code and group by section / topic are very helpful.

I do wonder about the ‘Pregnapocalypse’… erm, production. Like, would that include all impregnable people (including children apparently WTAF), including intersex people, (some) transmen, and I’m almost certain she probably included agender people, and non-binary people like me — as long as they were Assigned Female At Birth / AFAB. Which makes sense, if you’re in for gender essentialism. Link 1, Link 2, and Link 3. Really, it should be anyone with a functional uterus. (Is that rude to infertile people?)

Look: these questions really derail me from whatever it is I’m supposed to be thinking about. It always bugged the shit out of my elementary and middle school where the sex ‘education’ involved talking about periods. To only AFAB people. And fuck all about penises, actually enjoying sex, or *le gasp* … MASTURBATION. Teach kids to have fun by themselves safely and literally no one is worse off. Making jokes about cucumbers or vacuum cleaners is going to give people yeast infections and genital injuries, FFS.

From Every Frame a Painting, I remember Nick Frost being fricken’ amazing. I did like the Cornetto Trilogy, but I still feel kinda ‘eh’ about it. Also I always read “murder your darlings”, but I guess “kill your babies” / “don’t be precious” is the modern version. Methodical and mathematical is good. =)

I can see why having a final image and clear understanding of your plot would be a good idea. Especially for motivation. But similar to the casual dude video before last, I’ve been leaning towards wanting to let “life” happen on the page. Because life isn’t some super complicated Aizen multi-layered bizarre scheme where “This was all a part of my plan!” Life is messy, takes wrong turns, and not fun or interesting at times.

Which is why I really liked Whisper of the Heart. Sure, it took its sweet-ass time, but it felt damn real. It could have ended a dozen times before it did, and some may argue it should have, but I like that it took its time to reach the conclusion that apparently felt right to the creators and producers.

Omg, I just realized I’m essentially writing rambly academic essays with (only online) links as references.

Whitney Milam writer and Mary Doodles artist.

Re: Video Projects. Create a simple style to help you communicate ideas. From your head to people outside your head. Can use color-coded characters, or collages. Draft on paper, not on video. Use different draw distances, angles, panning or zooming.

Use action arrows, descriptive text, and images. Review script, select good shots to keep it tight, and translate into a framework of visuals. Run screenings with as many different kinds of people as people to highlight potential issues or uninteresting segments that need to be edited or cut to benefit the whole story.

A storyboard is a simple drawing that’s kind of like a comic book for your story. It helps you (or your camera-person) get the shots that you need to make a story.

I really liked this video. It encompassed a neat selection of differing considerations, without feeling rushed, erratic, or incomprehensible.

This one’s a clear, focused, detail-oriented tutorial on how to create an individual storyboard page. As someone who regularly ‘gets bogged down in details’, I ask this question a lot:

But how exactly do I do that?”

Give me a list of instructions and I will do them to the best of my ability. It’s only after A Levels and University that I’m finally able to appreciate non-contextual ‘tips’ like in prior videos.

Close up, medium, and wide shots. Wide is usually establishing something, like background, setting, landscape, or perspective. Close-up is for drawing attention to things, but can feel forced if used too often, for too long, or for irrelevant props or events. Bird’s eye view is from the angle of a bird flying over head and looking down. Ant’s eye view is from the angle of an ant looking up. ‘Extreme’ BEV or AEV is nearly vertical.

Also, background design. I usually put off planning the space occupied by my drawn or painted subjects until I have no other choice.

This video is in direct contrast to the earlier one with the casual af dude whose advice was to just start writing. And the SoulPancake person Georgia Koch (oh gods, I really hope they’re not related to the Koch brothers)

Which gave me the following links:

I commented on this first one under the main post. Yes, I AM autistic, and really, really prefer my formulae to follow simplification rules.

Again, great for the details-oriented of you. Greetings, fellow persnickets!

I haven’t read this one yet, but it’s bookmarked because it looks in-depth enough to be an ocean. Or the dankest regions of space.


Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed the journey,

Mx Dozana, of Mx Dozana Art