17Feb27 I’ve been busy (part 3 – Art)

Forwards and onwards.
[Nothing to do with the rest of this, but I just wanted to mention Wolfenstein: the New Order is a f**kin’ awesome game. Absolutely splendiforous. Love it. Not enough of that. More Captain America punching nazis and his bi ass (can anyone comment me a link? Cuz I swear they made it canon a while back, like a few years?) will have my heart forever.]

This one resonated with me a bunch because I really, Really struggle with making OCs. I make mini-mes that are more, or slightly-less-more, ‘Me’. Autistic, fractured, and inconsistent. Human as far as I’m aware, and would hazard as guess as such.
Besides we could all be living in a simulation, [Wikipedia link], [PBS link], and [8-bit Philosophy YT] plus [Tedx Talk YT]. All these links and I still don’t have a master sword. (I want a goddess sword, though, for spoiler-related sad reasons T_T )
or discussing robot rights,
I think we’re all right now in 2017 at least: human as f**k.

Anyway, Original Characters. I … kinda suck at it.
I’m autistic af (altho some fellow autistic folx may fight me on it, which is perfectly fair tbh. Compared to ‘normal’ people, I’m autistic as f**k, put it that way.)

It’s really, unbelievably difficult for me to suss out:

  • motivations
  • intention
  • ‘why X person feels Y because Z’
  • or anything along the lines of — I don’t know…

what enables people to write different characters believably, and evocatively?

Moving on, I’ll briefly conclude that I will be returning to the above video for guidance on what not to do when I start making OCs, adoptables, and self-inserts – because the latter-most is bound to happen.

And now for something completely different. A really poppin’, upbeat optimistic jaunty number, by the name of Candyland, from music artist Tobu.

Here’s a link to this one digital artist who seems to have themself organised. I just thought I’d include their link here in the Art posts, because it’s broadly how I want my channel (and ‘brand’? I suppose?) to be doing in a few years, or several.

Like, this one, I kinda disagree. I might convince myself otherwise as I work this out in typing, but I think (to begin with?) that, maybe non-[whatever group] people shouldn’t be banned from, but the works of people from [that group] should be uplifted and amplified by people from outside that group.

Like, I’m autistic, but not Black or Muslim. If I were, then obviously there’d be no problem for me to portray characters with that background, and / or religious view on life.
But it does kinda piss me off when people like Steven Moffat write a Clearly Aspergic or Autistic Character in the not-plagiarism-but-it-kinda-feels-like-it BBC TV re-imagining of the eponymous (the name of the character is also the name of the show) Sherlock.

“High-functioning sociopath, actually”, my large butt. F off with that nonsense. Gid oouutta heeeuh¬! (Accented: Get out of here!)
Aspergers and [apparently either unaware or not] proud. I mean — I’m proud, but clearly Mr Can-Absolutely-Write-Realistic-Women-No-Really-Stop-Laughing has no idea how to properly relate an imperfect character to us.

Now, full disclosure: I haven’t seen the last (1, 2? 3?) seasons. I did stop watching after… I wanna say the fall? But then he came ba-ack (back) and Moriarty did a thing (also this video has a really sexy Moriarty. They’re all really awesome and must have been hard-working to make such a comprehensive production. Go!)

Anyway, right. So, like I’d have to do a crap-ton of research (like, with Actual People, not just The Internet / Actually Just Googling the First Link that Aligns with my Current Biases and Prejudices. This link is not entirely relevant but I can’t find the proper web comic strip that I’m referencing here ><*) in order to get it right.

Er, research, have to be respectful… I think my point was that it’s hard work (certainly more so to get used to) trying to juggle all these plates (isn’t life. 😐 ‘ung’ face) and also actually create whatever it is to a good standard that you’re happy with.

People are lazy. It sounds like a really bad idea to say “Yeah! Hey, it’s okay to just pick whatever traits you want, and then continue on making what could end up with off-collar inconsistencies and implausible reactions.”

Like, I might be Puerto Rican, but that doesn’t mean I understand Puerto Rican culture, or have any idea how [someone who grew up there] would view the world or understand certain ideas. We all have at least slightly different interpretations of things, due to our initial experiences, and how we were taught to categorise concepts. Personally, I really like thinking about how language affects thought formation, but also the flipside: how thought formation affects language development and evolution. I can’t find the opposite link, so here’s one that’s a broad summary, instead.

That’s the end of the art-related content, actually, so this will actually be published a good few days from when I started writing it. There will be Fun posts (as opposed to Art posts) coming in the next few days, as of when this goes out.

I hope you enjoyed my thoughts on art related things, and meandering tangents of explosive thought. There’s contact information all over everywhere on this page, but just in case you were as yet unaware: e-mail MxDozanaArt@gmail.com to let me know how you think these blog posts could be improved or focused. Consistency in terms of publishing them is… probably not going to happen.

I’m writing these as I would say them out loud, by the way, and I have an AD(H)D hospital investigation appointment coming up next month. After that, I’ll be able to say whether or not I have a diagnosis of Adult AD(H)D, the upgraded version, with a full season pass and all future DLC!

Thanks, read you soon!

Mx Dozana, of Mx Dozana Art


Author: mxdozana

Autistic Physicist Artist AD(H)D'er. Person who lives in the UK. I am anxious, depressed, was dx'd OCD as a kid but who knows if I still meet the criteria now. I like anime and video games, as well as cats, Zelda, Elder Scrolls, science, neuroscience, math, linguistics, art, cats, music, and cats. ... Cats are my thing.

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